***Chapter from The Art of Falling, by Rev. Brien Egan
Falling in a Hole
“When we feel stuck,
going nowhere--even starting to slip backward--we may actually be backing
up to
get a running start.”
-Dan
Millman
Ever feel like
nothing is going right for you, like you are stuck and can’t get out of your
rut? This feeling of lost hope can create overwhelming sadness or depression
about the situation you are in. When you feel this confused about your
direction in life all can seem lost. It is as though you are out of sync with
life and you have fallen off your original path. Everything doesn’t always go
as planned as we talked about in chapter 2, so let’s look at how we can climb
out of our hole and keep on our path we had started. We may feel suppressed in
where we are or maybe we aren’t claiming our vision or personal power and are
letting others control our destiny.
First let’s look
at how to analyze the hole we are stuck in to understand how we got to this
point. We need to identify what derailed our train. Take a second to mentally
back track to where these feelings originated, who you were with, what was happening.
Did you not do something you were supposed to or should have? Did you let
someone else dictate your actions? Did you not stand up for what you believe in
for your dreams? Try to identify that moment where things began this unraveling.
Now walk yourself through what transpired next in sequence. What inaction
created your hole? Or was it something you did?
Can your hole be
filled with a simple conversation? Or does it require an entire life style
change? Finding the courage to step out of the hole may be the issue as well.
Some people find comfort in theirs, it becomes like their default position.
Sometimes the hardest part to a limiting adversity is the willingness to change
it or even identify it honestly. Has it become your “acomodador?” Did you settle
to create your distress of being trapped? Can you bring yourself to be strong
enough to do something now that you can unlimit your dreams? Maybe you need to
share these concerns with a partner or a friend so you can take those key steps
and muster up the strength to move on to where you truly wish to be.
Personal power can
be what is creating these limits for us if we are afraid to step out of our
comfort zone and really reach for those goals and aspirations. Others can help
encourage us but ultimately it is up to each person to find strength deep
within to make major changes and to alter our path. When hope feels lost it is
even harder to pick up and move on.
Perhaps
disillusionment with the outcomes is keeping you stuck. You might have too much
faith in a broken system or a dream someone else has that may be different from
your own. If this is the case it may require a revisit to the shared vision or
a revisit to what you really desire. This is not to say we should settle, but a
refocus on what is essential may be all that is required to get you back on
track. When you get to this point the best point of view is to know your real
desire and this may require a significant bit of introspection. Once you
rediscover your intentions, you can push forward just as we talked about in
chapter four in order to reaffirm your personal truth and your self worth. Soon
you will have filled in your hole and be ready to rewrite your plan or to
reconfigure the path you are on. Having a renewed vision on your journey will
make it easily attainable to ignite your drive with new fervor.
The key here is to
realize that we are never stuck in any situation. There is always a way to climb
out and keep our march to victory under way. Stepping out of a hole and away
from a situation that is against your dreams is a safe thing to do. We need to
have trust in what we are doing and that it is moving us in a direction we feel
is heading toward our goal. Everyone has moments where they feel like there is
no way out of something and we need to find the personal strength to not be
tied into something that goes against who we are or against the direction we
are heading. This hole you are in may just be a divot in the road or it may
seem like a bottomless pit but that lies in your perception of it and your
abilities and strengths in doing something to climb out of it.
Autobiography
in Five Short Chapters
“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.”
Portia
Nelson
Summary and Reflection
How do you realize you are stuck in a hole?
·
Loss of freedom, feeling suppressed
·
Distrust in a situation
·
Fell off of your original path
·
Losing hope
·
Confused about direction to go
How can you find a way out?
·
Regroup your vision
·
Rediscover your intentions
·
Back track through your life to find where the
hole was to begin with
·
Feeling adequate worth for efforts
·
Rekindle your drive to succeed
·
Rewrite your path/plan for success
·
Reaffirm your personal truth and aspirations
Visualization
Take a deep, full
breath in, all the way down to the bottom of your lungs. Notice your breath,
now take another deep full breath, feel your lungs stretch out with the quiet
path of your breath. Each breath that you take now is releasing more of your
tension and tightness, relaxation is flowing in with the in-breath, and tension
is released with the out-breath. Picture a shimmering light come in to the top
of your head and with each breath it will slowly go down your body relaxing you
as it moves into your neck and chest, down your arms, going down further now
with the out-breath into your hips and legs going into your calves and out your
feet...
Now imagine that you are sitting on the edge of a very deep well. You
lose your balance and fall backwards towards the water deep below. See the bricks
as you fall farther and farther into the well. Splash! You are drenched. You
notice handhold spots throughout the entire wall back up and out of the well.
As you grab each one and move up further you notice that each handhold makes
you realize a step to correct your slip, and the further you climb, the more
confident you feel about your goal at the top of the well walls. As you get to
the top you are overcome with joy at having overcome your fall and rekindled
your efforts towards you goals and desires. You head off down a road emitting a
yellow glow and you feel a renewed sense of direction. Picture yourself now in
a violet bubble as you float down the yellow brick road towards your dreams...
When you are ready,
be back here in the room, at peace, knowing that you are on your way to
wholeness...
Light for your path.
Just be.
