Falling in a Hole, chapter from the self-help book, "The Art of Falling" by Brien Egan (another book chapter I need comments on...)

***Chapter from The Art of Falling, by Rev. Brien Egan

 

Falling in a Hole

“When we feel stuck, going nowhere--even starting to slip backward--we may actually be backing 

up to get a running start.”               

                                          -Dan Millman

Ever feel like nothing is going right for you, like you are stuck and can’t get out of your rut? This feeling of lost hope can create overwhelming sadness or depression about the situation you are in. When you feel this confused about your direction in life all can seem lost. It is as though you are out of sync with life and you have fallen off your original path. Everything doesn’t always go as planned as we talked about in chapter 2, so let’s look at how we can climb out of our hole and keep on our path we had started. We may feel suppressed in where we are or maybe we aren’t claiming our vision or personal power and are letting others control our destiny.

First let’s look at how to analyze the hole we are stuck in to understand how we got to this point. We need to identify what derailed our train. Take a second to mentally back track to where these feelings originated, who you were with, what was happening. Did you not do something you were supposed to or should have? Did you let someone else dictate your actions? Did you not stand up for what you believe in for your dreams? Try to identify that moment where things began this unraveling. Now walk yourself through what transpired next in sequence. What inaction created your hole? Or was it something you did?

Can your hole be filled with a simple conversation? Or does it require an entire life style change? Finding the courage to step out of the hole may be the issue as well. Some people find comfort in theirs, it becomes like their default position. Sometimes the hardest part to a limiting adversity is the willingness to change it or even identify it honestly. Has it become your “acomodador?” Did you settle to create your distress of being trapped? Can you bring yourself to be strong enough to do something now that you can unlimit your dreams? Maybe you need to share these concerns with a partner or a friend so you can take those key steps and muster up the strength to move on to where you truly wish to be.

Personal power can be what is creating these limits for us if we are afraid to step out of our comfort zone and really reach for those goals and aspirations. Others can help encourage us but ultimately it is up to each person to find strength deep within to make major changes and to alter our path. When hope feels lost it is even harder to pick up and move on.

Perhaps disillusionment with the outcomes is keeping you stuck. You might have too much faith in a broken system or a dream someone else has that may be different from your own. If this is the case it may require a revisit to the shared vision or a revisit to what you really desire. This is not to say we should settle, but a refocus on what is essential may be all that is required to get you back on track. When you get to this point the best point of view is to know your real desire and this may require a significant bit of introspection. Once you rediscover your intentions, you can push forward just as we talked about in chapter four in order to reaffirm your personal truth and your self worth. Soon you will have filled in your hole and be ready to rewrite your plan or to reconfigure the path you are on. Having a renewed vision on your journey will make it easily attainable to ignite your drive with new fervor.

The key here is to realize that we are never stuck in any situation. There is always a way to climb out and keep our march to victory under way. Stepping out of a hole and away from a situation that is against your dreams is a safe thing to do. We need to have trust in what we are doing and that it is moving us in a direction we feel is heading toward our goal. Everyone has moments where they feel like there is no way out of something and we need to find the personal strength to not be tied into something that goes against who we are or against the direction we are heading. This hole you are in may just be a divot in the road or it may seem like a bottomless pit but that lies in your perception of it and your abilities and strengths in doing something to climb out of it.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

Portia Nelson

 

Summary and Reflection
 

How do you realize you are stuck in a hole?

·         Loss of freedom, feeling suppressed

·         Distrust in a situation

·         Fell off of your original path

·         Losing hope

·         Confused about direction to go

How can you find a way out?

·         Regroup your vision

·         Rediscover your intentions

·         Back track through your life to find where the hole was to begin with

·         Feeling adequate worth for efforts

·         Rekindle your drive to succeed

·         Rewrite your path/plan for success

·         Reaffirm your personal truth and aspirations

 Visualization

Take a deep, full breath in, all the way down to the bottom of your lungs. Notice your breath, now take another deep full breath, feel your lungs stretch out with the quiet path of your breath. Each breath that you take now is releasing more of your tension and tightness, relaxation is flowing in with the in-breath, and tension is released with the out-breath. Picture a shimmering light come in to the top of your head and with each breath it will slowly go down your body relaxing you as it moves into your neck and chest, down your arms, going down further now with the out-breath into your hips and legs going into your calves and out your feet...

 

Now imagine that you are sitting on the edge of a very deep well. You lose your balance and fall backwards towards the water deep below. See the bricks as you fall farther and farther into the well. Splash! You are drenched. You notice handhold spots throughout the entire wall back up and out of the well. As you grab each one and move up further you notice that each handhold makes you realize a step to correct your slip, and the further you climb, the more confident you feel about your goal at the top of the well walls. As you get to the top you are overcome with joy at having overcome your fall and rekindled your efforts towards you goals and desires. You head off down a road emitting a yellow glow and you feel a renewed sense of direction. Picture yourself now in a violet bubble as you float down the yellow brick road towards your dreams...

When you are ready, be back here in the room, at peace, knowing that you are on your way to wholeness...

Light for your path.

 

Just be.

Rebirth... part 1

Renaissance means rebirth... 

A rebirth is a revival of the beginning, a bringing back of that time before, of that being when  we were in that child-like state, where all things were possible. It makes me think of the allegory of the movie, "the Neverending Story."

The tale's big underlying theme is about regaining or in the main character's position, retaining that child-like innocence. Saving the child-like empress in the ivory tower of pure unbridled spirit in each of us from the terror that is the nothing. This nothing being the loss of imagination or open ended awareness. It represents the complacency and loss of our ability to be aware and awake to the possibilities of the infinite.  

The nothing creeps into so many of our lives early on and robs us of our innate wonder of our pure connection to the divine and to the potential to be anything. It keeps us from pondering our personal dimensionality and if we are truly a 3 dimensional being living in a four dimensional universe or are we more than that?

So has "The Nothing" conquered your life presently?  Here are some easy signs: (but don't worry, it's not too late!)

1.You are complacent with where you are in your life.  Complacent here doesn't mean happy, it means content enough not to change things you know you could, and it kind of means you have given up on your potential, things are good enough.

2. Does television or the internet occupy most of your time, distracting you from what is really happening in your life? 

3. Do you avoid difficult situations often because you are afraid of change or what might happen so you endure misery?

4. Do you often feel bored and listless where things just don't have that same luster or excitement?

5. Do you feel stuck in your path, but can't think of a new way to solve it?

Just as we feel like things can't be changed and that we are powerless, so it is.  Think of the famous Ford quote, "whether you think you can or you can't, you're right."  if we accept our fates to be tied to complacency and mediocrity then that is all we can be.  If this is all you accept as being your reality, then your cutting yourself off at your own knees. 

The box you have created from your beliefs is the one you can't get out of...

Our limits are those which we have learned to accept.  It reminds me of the old gorilla from the film Instinct, which is based off the wonderful novel, "Ishmael,"where they offer the gorilla his freedom and he doesn't bother to go.  He has accepted his fate, he has been broken. "The nothing" has consumed his wild, untamed soul.  So it is with us. 

This experience of being consumed by our cages leaves us in a listless droll state of fearful perception.  Some of us are able to retain some of our power and potential, but unfortunately those are among the very few.  Many people let it reconstruct their psyche in such a way that they lose that feeling of joy and even the simpler form of happiness. 

Leonardo DaVinci, who, oddly synchronous enough, is considered the first and most prominent person associated with the renaissance time period, was a major advocate for maintaining the child-like empress in our lives.  He reveled in his child-like wonder.  He fought against his loss of innocence with creativity and innovation as his guides.  One of my most favorite quotes by him is where he describes using the imagination to find pictures in the cracks and imperfections of a wall.  He kept himself sharp intellectually by exercising the most important mental muscle we have and that is our imagination.  To draw in another epically famous mind, this time from the 20th century, 

Albert Einstein emphasized the fact that the imagination is more important than knowledge.  He understood that the freedom of the mind to wander and explore was something we needed to grow so that even further innovations and advancements in our society and thereby consciousness are able to come to fruition.

So how do we rediscover our old core being, our essence we showed up on Earth with?  How can we defeat our "Nothings?"

Having our own renaissance may not be as hard as it sounds.  All it takes is reflection and some reteaching so we can unlearn the programming we have been force fed by societal structures.  Call back into your mind that time of your innocence if you still can,those feelings of gentle building excitement where things are boundless. 

If this proves too difficult try this, stare at a spot that looks broken and cluttered or find a spot in the sky on a cloudy day.  Now just gently look at this spot and just for a moment try to connect what is there into something.  Make it into an object you are familiar with in your mind. Can that cloud look like a bee if you turn your head, or can those cracks or splotch of paint on the wall or in the sidewalk look like the body of a dragon? 

Take a brief moment here or there throughout your day to reconnect with your own wonderment and see where it takes you! 

We are as young or as old or as open or closed off as we accept.  Don't be afraid of the mystery of the unknown you enjoyed as a child.  Conquer your nothing, climb on Falcor and become the something you truly know you are!!!  

Light for your path...